On her "side"

Sandy, my dear.�

Swell job in "The Blind Side", your tear-jerking crowd pleaser of an inspirational made-for-movie TV-movie movie about a saintly white American family who saves a giant black kid from the projects and pushes him into fame and fortune as a football star.�

Who knew you could be Miss Congeniality, a Real Housewife, and Erin Brokovich all at once? Oh wait. You had already been Miss Uncongeniality, A Desperate Housewife and Erin BrokoBITCH in "Crash". Now that was a stretch. And you were brilliant.�

Too bad you were just one in a gallery of characters in that movie. Oscar would surely have noticed if you were in the lead. But never mind. I believe you have wormed your way to the very top of his mind this year. Good for you. And I'll be most happy when you claim your statuette (but Oscar is a guy, right, so why do others call the trophy an "ette"?), as is almost guaranteed now, what with your victories at the Globes and the SAG Awards.�

But my dear, can I be honest with you? Much as I adore you and was thoroughly impressed with your performance in "Blind", I'm on Meryl's side. She was just simply divine in "Julie & Julia". And if I'm gonna be completely, absolutely honest, I'd say that the entire work you did does not even come close to what La Streep did in any one of her scenes. Any one scene.

The good news is I'm not Oscar. So you can rest easy. Go on then, continue polishing that acceptance speech. Having heard what you said at the Globes and the SAGs, I expect it to be another stellar piece -- sweet, humble, honest, funny.�

Which is to say, I expect you to be you when the Academy finally celebrates you being very you in your biggest hit movie.

XOXO

Extraordinary Meryl, unprepared Downey, drunk Farrell

Notable quotes from the Golden Globe Awards.

Meryl Streep (Best Actress, Comedy or Musical)
"I just want to say that in my long career, I've played so many extraordinary women that I'm getting mistaken for one. I'm very clear that I'm the vessel for other people's stories and other people's lives."

Robert Downey Jr. (Best Actor, Comedy or Musical)
''First of all, I want to thank Susan Downey, who told me that Matt Damon was going to win, so don't bother to prepare a speech.''

Paul McCartney (Presenter)
"But animation is not just for children. They're also for adults who take drugs."

Ricky Gervais (Host)
"One stereotype I hate is that all Irishmen are just drunk, sweary hellraisers. Please welcome Colin Farrell."

Martin Scorsese (Lifetime Achievement Awardee), quoting William Faulkner
"The past is never dead. It's not even past."

Jeff Bridges (Best Actor, Drama)
"You're really screwing up my under appreciated status here."

An Open Letter

Dear 2010,

I welcome you into my life. But you must know that you're replacing a very good ex.

An ex that gave me many firsts.

My first book cover for one of my photos, in an international novel published from the UK no less.

My first big screen acting gig, in a blockbuster movie no less (Kimmy Dora).

My first appearance as a featured personality in a coffee table book, for a 5-star resort no less.

And my first brushes with romance, with a couple of beautiful ones at that.

So you have your work cut out for you.

I want more, bigger, and better.

I also want surprises. Lots of them.

You have exactly 362 days to do that.

Don't disappoint me.

Love,

Eric